“Ejaculating is the body’s response in which semen is expelled from the testicles. This happens when the organism receives excitatory stimuli. Most of the time it is accompanied by pleasure. Others, no,” explains Dr. P K Gupta, a sexologist in Delhi, India, distinguishing three different ways in which this action can occur:
- Healthy ejaculation: occurs during sexual encounters -with or without intercourse- in an estimated quality time and accompanied by emotional well-being.
- Premature ejaculation: occurs in a short time of poor quality. Before or during a sexual encounter with any sexual practice and with little stimulation. After the encounter there is emotional distress.
- Delayed ejaculation: it happens during sexual encounters with any long-lasting sexual practice where ejaculation is not always achieved. After the encounter there is also emotional distress.
The factors that influence ejaculation are varied, but here are the main ones:
- Excitation management.
- Emotional management.
- Sexual and erotic knowledge and love skills.
- The emotional and mental state of mind.
When is premature ejaculation and how does it affect sexual relationships?
“It is considered that a man suffers premature ejaculation when he is unable to manage his excitement, there is no emotional management, there is anxiety and ejaculation produces discomfort, with ejaculation being less than 5 minutes both in self-stimulation and in accompanied sexual encounters,” says best sexologist in Delhi, India.
The above mentioned happens in every sexual encounter at least in the last six months of his sexual and erotic life. If it occurs occasionally, it may be due to other factors such as tiredness, lack of concentration, stress, or anxiety.
According to the sexologist doctor in Delhi, India “premature ejaculation or ejaculating too quickly mostly affects negatively because it is a taboo subject inside and outside of sexual-affective relationships. Even if they have many years of relationship. Therefore, this problem can alienate and distance people, deteriorate sexual life and, in turn, can cause a breakdown. Many times, the couple who suffers from this dysfunction believes that it is their fault, thus personalizing the problem when it is not.”
Confidence, security, and comfort are essential aspects to create a good sexual climate in the couple.
Are there keys to slow ejaculation?
Recognizing that in his Sexology consultation questions about delaying ejaculation are frequent, top sexologist in Delhi, India points out that there is no universal key to delaying ejaculation. “Each person is a world and in the end each one creates his own taking into account certain resources. It is essential to learn to be present – calmly, without haste – in the body with the respective sensations and emotions in order to manage arousal, added to sexual and erotic knowledge. Without forgetting that penetration and intercourse is not the main thing in sexual relations. It is important to work erotics throughout the body, not just the genital area. Thus, there will be less anxiety when it comes to expressing sexuality. We live in a coitocentrist and genitalist society, which complicates healing sexual problems or dysfunctions”, the sex specialist in Delhi lists.
The rush is never good
“The slower and calmer the person is, the easier it is to control arousal. This in turn will take control of when to ejaculate. When there is a rush, the autopilot turns on so that any problem or dysfunction takes over the person. That is why it is important to work from the presence of calm and not be anxious, “says sex doctor in Delhi.
Specifically, in addition to the rush, there may be other “inappropriate” sexual habits that may be influencing the man to ejaculate too quickly: being anxious, going straight to penetration, and not having good sexual and erotic skills and knowledge beyond coitocentrism, heteronormative. The lack of sexual experience is a factor to consider, but it does not mean that it is decisive for all people.
Are there postures in sexual intercourse that delay ejaculation?
For best sex doctor in Delhi, “postures are a complementary resource. For example, if the person with the problem knows that it takes much less time to ejaculate in ‘X’ posture, the ideal thing is not to perform that posture until you can manage your arousal. Each person knows which is theirs”.
The best sexologist in South Delhi recommends making a list of the positions and practices of those that excite the least, and so when the problem is being addressed, know which ones are and which are not.
Therapeutic approaches to delay ejaculation
Each person is different, and each treatment will be personalized. The best sexologist in East Delhi summarizes how she approaches it in consultation:
- Exploration of sexual and erotic history, beliefs about sexuality and sexual-affective relationships.
- Emotional management through psychoeducation in emotional intelligence, meditation, and visualizations.
- Arousal Management: Conscious Breathing, Non-Coital or Genital Erotic Practices Alone and Point of No Return Techniques.
- Sexual and erotic routines as a couple: during the first month do not have intercourse or penetration. Depending on the evolution, this pattern is lengthened or not; working the erotic of the body through massages, caresses, and petting.
- Pelvic floor: exercises focused on becoming aware of the pelvic floor and toning it up.
- Work on the internal parts involved in the problem. For example, the suspicious, nervous, or anxious party. They are the “characters” protagonists of the problem.
When there is no physiological reason for premature ejaculation, such as diabetes, is the approach to premature ejaculation easier? “It depends on the commitment, the type of approach, the history itself and the therapeutic relationship. These four factors are important. However, from my professional point of view, the type or perspective of approach for this type of dysfunction is essential since it goes beyond a physical symptom in many cases,” says sexologist in Rohini.
And he goes on to say that if the nervous system is in “emotional survival mode”, depending on the intensity of the blockage, the approach may be more or less complex or easy. “For example, when in the person’s history there is trauma such as sexual abuse in childhood, the healing will be much more complex than if it is a person who, as a result of the infidelity of his partner, began to have the problem of premature ejaculation ”, says sexologist in Delhi.