The sexual problems can develop at any age, but most women experience greater difficulties before age 30, while most men will experience them after 50 years. This means that many couples are sexually out of sync, with their problems causing conflict in the early life of one and the other being caused later.
Of course, like all generalizations, these observations have their limits. It is quite possible that young men or older women will develop significant sexual problems. But it is usually the other way around. Those who have a perspective on this are more likely to feel prepared – and enjoy sex throughout their lives, explains the best sexologist in Delhi, India.
Sexual problems of young lovers
Many young people experience sexual problems: performance anxiety and concerns about penis size, premature ejaculation, ejaculation problems and, occasionally, erectile dysfunction. But the two biggest problems for young men – anxiety about penis size and premature ejaculation (PE) – can usually be resolved with a sexologist in Delhi, India.
Young women’s sexual concerns tend to be more complicated. Girls grow up wanting to explore their sexuality but receive mixed messages. If they feel shy or avoid boys’ approaches, they are “rude” or “cold”. But if they seem overly anxious, they are “easy” or “sluts”.
Young women are created to value attractiveness and desirability, but with so much emphasis on looking desirable, they may not feel much space to experience their own desire.
Young women are also concerned about the risk of pregnancy and are deeply disappointed if they are with men who seem less concerned.
Finally, when young women experience sex, they often do with young men who know little about women’s sexuality, specifically the importance of the clitoris for their erotic satisfaction.
Most young men (and many older men) think that sexual intercourse is the key to women’s pleasure and orgasm. Most women enjoy the special closeness of taking action. But only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic due to intercourse alone. To have orgasms, most need soft, sustained caresses on the clitoris. As a result of the ignorance of many young people, many young women do not receive the stimulation they need and have difficulty with orgasm. But when young women experience orgasm difficulties, they often take the wrong responsibility and think they are somehow defective, says sexologist doctor in Delhi, India.
It takes time, often years, for young women to feel comfortable with their sexuality. The process usually involves becoming assertive with men about the erotic rhythm they prefer (usually slower with more kisses, hugs and mutual massage throughout the body) and sexual movements that allow them to be sufficiently lubricated and aroused to have orgasms.
At age 30 or older, as they become more experienced in life and sex, most women make peace (more or less) with their sexuality. Most become more comfortable with what they like and allow themselves, possibly having vaginal intercourse alone, but probably combined with direct stimulation of the clitoris with hand, tongue, or vibrator.
Sexual problems of older lovers
As women advance in their early forties, they begin to enter menopause. This creates two new problems: vaginal dryness and vaginal atrophy, thinning of the vaginal wall, which can make intercourse uncomfortable and sometimes impossible. Dryness can develop at any age, but it becomes more prevalent after 40. Thinning of vaginal tissue usually becomes a problem after 55 years. Fortunately, sexual lubricants relieve most dryness and help protect against atrophy-related irritation during intercourse. Another approach is sex without sex – manual, oral, vibrator, etc.
In addition, older women face another challenge – demographics. On average, women live longer than men. As they get older, many must deal with widowhood, men with erectile dysfunction (ED) who believe (incorrectly) that they are sexually defeated and the fact that older men often stalk younger women. As a result, older women struggle with diminishing sexual opportunities for partners, says sex specialist in Delhi.
As difficult as older women’s sexual dilemmas can be, older men’s problems tend to be more frightening. After 50 years, the nervous system is less excited. Men who were constantly aroused during their twenties often felt that they had trouble feeling aroused. This is a big reason why many middle-aged and older men view pornography – to reassure themselves that they can still become aroused, explains top sexologist in Delhi.
In addition, at age 65, most men develop at least some erectile dysfunction. The cause is often medical, including: diabetes, obesity and heart disease. These conditions reduce blood flow into the penis and cause an erection in the condition of a negative rash, starting around 45 to 50 years and later, mild ED that often becomes more severe. And when older men have erections, they are not as strong or as firm as before, and can end up in the middle of sex, often for no apparent reason. Erection medications may help but may not. At best, these changes are disconcerting. At worst, men decide that they are no longer sexually functional, often with great disdain for their partners, explains sex doctor in Delhi.
In addition, many older men continue to experience premature ejaculation. The EP is not just a youth problem. A quarter to a third of adult men of all ages have poor ejaculatory control. But many older men experience a resurgence of PE, just as their erections begin to fail. One of the main causes of PE is stress, for example, the stress of developing erection difficulties, says sexologist in South Delhi.
The sexual changes of older men can be unnerving. After decades of taking libido and sexual functions for granted, after about 50 years or more, it is no longer automatic. This can be confusing and frustrating, causing some men to “retire” from sex.
Fortunately, men can adapt to sex when they are older, moving from sexual love based on sex to one without sex. If you are not having sex, there is no need for erections.
Older men do not need erections to have wonderful orgasms. This is true, in an erotic context (candlelight, music, seductive lover), with sufficient stimulation (masturbation and toys), men with weak erections or even completely flaccid penises can still have satisfying orgasms, says sexologist in East Delhi.
Sex without sex requires adjustments. Most lovers have spent decades with sexual intercourse central to their love. But older couples who remain sexually active often evolve into other wonderful ways to be sexual.
The best sex of your life
For couples with long relationships, the stage of life with the fewest sexual problems usually occurs between the ages of thirty and forty. At this stage, most women have transcended the sexual issues that afflict young women and most men have not yet had to address the sexual concerns of older men.
But no sexual issue of any gender at any age prevents great sex. Just as people can develop sexual problems at any age, people can also cope and enjoy wonderful love at any age. By understanding what to expect throughout life and making the generally simple adjustment that preserves great sex.
Finally, at any stage of life, if you have sexual problems that cannot be resolved with information and self-help, professional sex treatment in Delhi usually helps.